Hope you be better...(Original Rhyme)

its been awhile, since the last that we met,
I'm really sorry, if i made you upset,
distant grew us apart, that is a known fact,
but memories last forever, definitely you can bet,

hope to find better days, in between those tears,
i know you are more cautious, ton of things that you fear,
but trust me on this, it is crystal clear,
things will turn out well, one way or another,

just keep your spirit high and keep on persevere,
forget things in the past, and put it at the rear,
keep on moving forward, its your life you have to steer,
hoping for your success, 1 day 1 wish to hear....


ps:
a rhyme inspired by a story of a friend..
hope you be better

How subtle are you..?

if you happen to realize, malays such as myself are kinda subtle actually.. its part of our nature. as being direct seems to be bit rough. and Malays have this culture of letting them know with out hurting ones feeling. some people will say it beating around the bush. but then again we try to go away from being confrontational and direct.

of cause there's some good and bad in that situation. of cause you laying it down with all due respect and hoping ones realized what damage they do. but then again some situation people just misunderstood or simply don't get what was being said. so people like me would just wait and wait and wait.. and write a couple of lines just to ease the pain... so gotta open your eyes and look out for the sign.....

have a great new year....

till next rhyme..

Tears in the Dark (Original Rhyme)

its sad to hear what you been through,

now that most of your days are painted blue,

when will it end, you don't have a clue,

tears in the dark directed to who?

keep on hoping & try your best,

never lose faith, only God that cares,

even though your beat up, & kept having less,

your time will come, after all this mess....

ps: please hang in there no matter what....

Left Aside (original rhyme)

It hurts pretty bad, when I stayed away,

But it hurts even more when I've been push away,

Theres too much on my chest that I want to say,

Kept it buried inside and left it unsaid,

Let me be right here, and forced to pay,

The price to pay attention, always overdue and delay,

As promises & expectation, could reform like clay,

Under the hot sun, it melted by the ray....

Before I Sleep (Original Rhyme)

after all the wait, anticipating an eclipse,

kept on dissapointed, as i talk in my sleep,

but again and again, i try to think deep,
accompany with hot cocoa, drank it sip by sip...

felt unappreciated, most of the time,

so i kept myself busy, continue this climb,

a time to soul search, & a taste of sour lime,

in a different perspective, calculating every dime...

they said its a lonely place to be number one,

let them enjoy life, full with games and fun,
ill rather stand my ground, then be scared and run,

to prepare for the worst while heading to the sun....

ps:

sorry for the long hiatus..

but here i'm back....

thanks for reading....

I got to move by Calvin Richardson

I've got to move

But i want to stay
Got to find me somebody
Who won't give me love
And then take it away

Night Time by The XX

You mean that much to me
And it's hard to show
Gets hectic inside of me
When you go
Can I confess these things
To you
I don't know
Embedded in my chest
And it
Hurts to hold

I couldn't spill my heart
My eyes gleam looking in from the dark
I walk out in stormy weather
Hold my words, keep us together
Steady walking but bound to trip
Should release but just tighten my grip

[Chorus]
Night time
Sympathize
I've been working on
White lies
So I'll tell the truth
I'll give it up to you
And when the day comes
It will have all been fun
We'll talk about it soon

And I couldn't spill my heart
My eyes gleam
Looking in from the dark
And I walk out in stormy weather
Hope my words keep us together
Steady walking but bound to trip
Should release but just tighten my grip

[Chorus]

Ignorance by Paramore

If Im a bad person you dont like me
Well I guess Ill make my own way
Its a circle a mean cycle
I cant excite you anymore

Wheres your gavel
Your jury
Whats my offense this time
Youre not a judge but if youre gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life

Dont wanna hear your sad songs
I dont wanna feel your pain
When you swear its all my fault
Cause you know were not the same
No were not the same oh were not the same

We'e the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you cant accept that the change is good
Its good its good

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well its nice to meet you sir
I guess Ill go I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well its nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing that couldve happened
Any longer and I wouldnt have made it
Its not a war no its not a rapture
Im just a person but you cant take it

The same tricks that that once fooled me
They wont get you anywhere
Im not the same kid from your memory
Well now I can fend for myself

Dont wanna hear your sad songs
I dont wanna feel your pain
When you swear its all my fault
Cause you know were not the same
No were not the same oh were not the same

Yeah we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you cant accept that the change is good
Its good its good

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well its nice to meet you sir
Well I guess Ill go I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well its nice to meet you sir
Well I guess I'll go I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
Well I guess Ill go I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well its nice to meet you sir
I guess Ill go I best be on my way out

never enough (original rhyme)

Sorry i cant b the perfect one,Or even if my tongue is mostly blunt,
Its not that im trying to avoid or run,Always been repetition and kept avoiding the gun,
Trying to survive, in this blood thirst hunt,
Staying away, from cheap thrill or fun,
Hope you're more rationale, after all set or done,
As I've always stood my ground, stormy rain n burning sun....

Undetected

I got my bagage in life, that i cant run away from. Thats why it makes me diffrent. So sorrow, so tone down, so under the radar. Sometimes, I just dont want to be seen...... But regardless of what ive done, they wont allow me. Tho im just a simple person trying to make a living. Dont ask for much, but striving for all that i could offer. Still not enough tho...

What Does This Means to You? (Original Rhyme)

take me to the day, when it was,

before all the sudden, the time went pause,

& I felt so different, as if I'm at lost,

so low & broken, like I've been toss,

or fall down riding, from a back of a horse,

as my heart stop moving, disrupted by force...

remind me again, why im here,

where this smile is swept off, & I'm avoiding tears,

feeling insecure, so much things to fear,

what holds in front of me, never seem to be clear,

kept a straight face, just waiting to hear,

what you got to say, explain to me my dear...

untill when this last, i'll endure the pain,

nor i'm not that perfect, not even a saint,

just kept myself busy, to keep me sane,

so much room for improvement, so much to gain,

as long i kept true, & maintain this lane,

desperately hoping that 1 day, this will change...

Uninvited Guest (Original Rhyme)

as i reminisce, what has past,

sitting down quite, without any fuss,

and there you were, out from the dust,

wondering slowly, and gaze at the cast...

while I'm chasing shadows, in the mid of the night,

writing my heart out, under the bright moonlight,

the picture of you, gave me all the might,

felt appreciated with all your guide,

which kept me standing, and continue this fight,

where i feel much better, throughout this height...

your timing seems accidental, but always right on time,

when everything seem sour, even worst from lime,

to greater heights, together we will climb,

until fate crosses over, then we act like mime...

Post Sign (Original Rhyme)

too sick to realized, what happen before me,
just kept it silent & just let it be,
as i wish for a miracle, to show me the key...

again & again, i kept on telling,

myself to be calm, & just stop swearing,

don't let it bother, your heart & feeling,

it's just repetitions, that you have to be dealing...

time will heal, this heart of mine,

sooner or later, i will be fine,

just need to open my eyes, & read the sign...

Crystalized by The XX

You've applied the pressureTo have me crystallizedAnd you've got the faithThat I could bring paradise
I'll forgive and forgetBefore I'm paralyzedDo I have to keep up the paceTo keep you satisfied
Things have gotten closer to the sunAnd I've done things in small dosesSo don't think that I'm pushing you awayWhen you're the one that I've kept closest
[ahh ahh ahh] x4
You don't move slowTaking steps in my directionsThe sound resounds, echoDoes it lesson your affectionNo
You say I'm foolishFor pushing this asideBut burn down our home I won't leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the seaI wish the tide would take me overI've been down on my kneesAnd you just keep on getting closer

Learning to fall again (Original Rhyme)

Thru all these years, we been so close,
The one that, I’ll think about the most,
Life got to us, and everything went froze,
All the sudden, we’re like uninvited ghost.

Faces revolving doors, but I still maintain the same,
Waiting for you, to stop playing those games,
As you’re still young, & attracted to fame,
But not the only one, that should be blame.

As I took time off, and reflect to the past,
You reminded me what was, it’s surely a blast,
Learning to fall again, as I don’t want this feeling to rust,
Falling over you again, never been such a big task

Uncertain tongue tight (Original Rhyme)

Words & question, I would like to ask,
Have no time now, should I make it fast?
Yet I kept it dragging, and wait till last,
Still hesitate, even if it’s a must
I rather kept quite. As things has past,
To the back of my mind, let it collect dust…

Could I live with it, not knowing what if?
Don’t want any conflict, not starting any beef,
Sudden tongue tight, words wont pass my teeth,
Like a big obstacle, the great barrier reef,
Letting it cool off, and the situation to leave,
I don’t want to lose this, as to me you’re a gift…

Exile Again (Original Rhyme)

Been here, thru numerous time,
Another setback, after a long climb,
As this experience, taste better then lime,
I’ll just sit under the moonlight, keep writing my rhyme…

Wish they realized, how I'm doing,
How this loneliness, is truly killing,
But all I need is time, to continue healing,
Thru the same cycle, I surely willing

Warrior - the underdog story.

will consider one of the best story month to date. since they no longer showing this in the cinema, i think ill write something bout it. watch it 3 time and it still doesn't get old. why? because it hits straight to the heart. talking bout experience. i suppose thats how good movie should be. the connections to the viewers. i would say its brilliant. with the cast like Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton most people would pass it off as they are non superstars. but unlike me, always in search of underground and less popular stuff. as they said :

'get out of mainstream, people get lost there'

Haunted by a tragic past, ex-Marine Tommy Conlon (Hardy) returns home for the first time in fourteen years to enlist the help of his father (Nick Nolte) to train for SPARTA, the biggest winner-takes-all event in mixed martial arts history. A former wrestling prodigy, Tommy blazes a path toward the championship while his brother, Brendan (Edgerton), an ex-fighter-turned teacher, returns to the ring in a desperate bid to save his family from financial ruin. But when Brendan's unlikely, underdog rise sets him on a collision course with the unstoppable Tommy, the two brothers must finally confront each other and the forces that pulled them apart, facing off in the most soaring, soul stirring, and unforgettable climax that must be seen to be believed. -- (C) Lionsgate

my version:
the story is about two brothers (Brendan and Tommy), who went their own way in life but had the same passion MMA (mix martial arts). as Tommy goes into the army after the death of their mum while Brendan went away and married his long time sweetheart. as the story goes, their dad was an alcoholic and just turn sober for the last 100 days. asking for forgiveness to Brendan for all the damage cause by him when he was under the influence (broken home, domestic violent and etc). but the damage is done and nothing really matters. being sour with the past, Brendan didn't even gave the chance to let the father to see any of the grandchildren.


as Tommy was running away from past that haunts him, he want to make it up to it by winning the Sparta Tournament (MMA). the prize money will be given to wife of his close friend back in the marines. the friend was killed and Tommy abandon his unit. he planned to work together with his dad but put their differences aside just to get things done. as they capture the turmoil surrounds them with the MMA background, this movie should not be missed.

all three individual is such strong characteristic and wont budge into others. they have that characteristic of a fighter. never give up attitude, fear motivated, determine, and have something to fight for.

my favourite quote
Brendan : you always go with the forth runner. never the underdog.

Frank Campana: Look at me! Look at me! Why are we here, Brendan? Why are we here? Are we here to win this fight? You tell me, 'cause if we're not, I'll throw in the towel right now. We'll get Tess and we will go home. You don't knock him out, you lose the fight. Understand me? You don't knock him out, you don't have a home.

till the next movie to top that... u might not agree, but its classic.
REALITY CHECK....!

Return of the Thai fighter...!

last weekend we had this WMC (world muay thai council) Padmaster course. Was conducted by the one and only Stephan Fox the VP of WMC. most people will know him from the contender Asia previously and the recent one is The Challenger Muay Thai both under AXN. with the help of Nong and the Malaysian Tigers, the upgrading event was massive.

this two days course is to teach FF trainers to have a good knowledge and using muay thai as a tool in the clients health and fitness program. theres around 100++ trainers came for level 1 and 18 for level 2. last time around, they had it in FF MBF jalan sultan ismail. but this time its in Axis. due to the large number of trainers, all of us have to train at the open air. as the class can only accommodate 60+ only. the burning sun is nothing much compare to the intense training with minimum rest. on the first day, it even rain. it was so cool. Literally...

but its nice to see an army of blues training together under the bright sunlight just for the heck of upgrading and expending their knowledge. it took determination, persistence and patience. as most of them have to wait almost 1 year to see this up again. tons of friends were made even tho we worked under the same company. we seldom spent that much time together.

most of us got either burned / tanned due to the sun. but it was worth it. some even lost 2 kg for just 2 days. how bout that? its indeed something to cherish.

HOD Explorace

Last Friday we the heads of department of fitness first region 3 had what we call an amazing race Fitness first. Its 4 team all together team CGM (Kurt Skirt), FM (Kamikaze Warriors), FOHM and also SM.

1^st challenge is to get an oreo cookie from ur forheadto you mouth without touching. First team to completes all get to choose the marker points. Among them are, an empty dvd case title (going the distant), a 16kg kettlebell, a 9kg medicine ball, or a full carton of Anlene milk. We manage to finish 3^rd within 4 teams. Bit left behind but we were determined.

Kurt ABM region / host of amazing race Fitness First provide us 50 bucks and we need to spend within that only. Tough luck actually. Cuz going one way to Avenue K is already costly.

From Mont Kiara, we went to

Avenue K to take some pic of every department there,

find Michael Schumacher and his car

back to Menara Manulife for a rowing challenge.

and back to Mont Kiara.

Guess what, we manage to be the first one to arrived and with the highest points. Followed by the CGM team, Front of House and Sales team .Man all those running around and such is really texting and owh so tired.

All in it was pure fun and team work. Everyone really had a great time. And back to the next challenge. Just bring it…!

Restu By Dilla

restu anakku, tak perlu merah akal mu,

restu saudaraku berkubu,

terbatu darah berbatu bata,

dalam diam aku hancur,

dalam riak aku luhur,

dalam tenang aku buntu,

ku kejar peangi jingga,

sedang jingga makin merah,

sedang merah semakin hambar.....

this poem is from dilla ain.

a friend of mine.

towards the Gaza war....

Isolated (Original Rhyme)

been here, thru numerous time,
another setback, after a long climb,
as this experience, taste better than lime,
ill just sit under the moonlight, keep writing my rhyme,

wish they realized, how im doing,
how this loneliness, is truly killing,
but all i need is time, to continue healing,
through the same cycle, i surely willing...

@ gravy baby in Shah Alam

Ring in each Finger?

most of the people see me with rings here and there. some even ask me why. Back then Aina's mum commented me on my pinky ring. she said something bout single and hoping. hahahhaaaa...... never thought of that. its just an expression. seriously no kidding....so i went out to check it out whats all the fingers and ring is about. n why i kept on wearing it anyway. so this is what i got:

Have you ever thought what is the meaning of each finger for rings? Take a look what each finger represents and how the right ring can make a difference.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try in life, certain things don’t really seem to go our way! This is the time when few opt for astrology as a guide to improve our lives. Palm reading, numerology, tarot cards etc are some of the ways which experts in this field claim to help a person to improve present status. Well, the one thing I have noticed is the advice given by many such experts to wear finger rings. These finger rings when combined with specific birthstones help to create a balanced effect for many issues in one’s life. But, have you ever wondered what is the meaning of each finger for rings? Does having a ring on a particular finger signify something deep? Well, lets take a look at meanings of rings on fingers.

What is the Meaning of each Finger for Rings?

The thumb

symbolizes the will power in a person. This finger is connected with the inner self of a person. In case you have been told to wear a ring on this finger, you would need to be especially attentive to the changes that happen in your life. The ring would then help to boost your willpower.

The index finger

represents authority, leadership and ambition. This finger is considered to represent a certain kind of power. This was particularly seen in the ancient days when powerful Kings wore rings on their index finger. Therefore, wearing a ring on this finger would help you get a boost in this direction.

The middle finger

represents individuality of a person. Located in the middle, it symbolizes a balanced life. Wearing a ring on this finger would help you to add balance to your life.

The ring finger is the fourth finger.

This ring finger of the left hand has a direct connection with the heart. Therefore, the wedding ring is worn on this finger. It also represents emotions (affection) and creativity in a person. Wearing a ring on the right hand would help you to become more optimistic in your life.

The little finger

represents everything about relationships. This finger is all about our associations with the outside world as compared to the thumb; where in the latter is all about the inner self. This little finger represents our attitude towards others. Wearing a ring on this finger would help one to enhance their relationships particularly in terms of marriage and helps to improve business relationships as well. It also helps to change a person’s attitude towards relationships for better. The creativity is associated with emotional as well as material things.

Rings are thus an important entity amongst all jewelry items. Before you plan to wear any kind of ring, it’s better you consult a professional to know about the kind of jewelry to be worn. Be it a diamond ring or an engagement ring, a wedding ring, or a promise ring, one cannot ignore the beauty of these rings as fashionable jewelry. So, it’s not always a person wears a ring only for religious or other such beliefs, but there are many people who choose to opt for it only as a fashion statement! Well, no matter what the reason, finger rings sure do enhance the overall look of the wearer!

By Kashmira Lad

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-is-the-meaning-of-each-finger-for-rings.html

owhhh... now i see... kewl tho.. never thought of that at all. but good to know what it is for anyway.

are your wearing any ring?

Last Straw (Original Rhyme)

Seem I’m invisible, to you I suppose,
no matter how much, I try to be close,
Maybe I’ve burned out, ended up being toast,
as again and again, from the dead I’ve rose,
kept asking god, the only one who knows,
if I’m still alive, or just a living ghost…

Being pushed away, everytime I remember,
reading between the line, always been a believer,
always too hesitate, a letter never deliver,
all I do is wise up, and becoming more wiser,
try stop myself from being a dreamer,
stand my ground, seek sky that never glitter…

The last to be consider, never fail to realize,
for all the lost time, I’ve try to capitalize,
constrain myself and avoiding socialize,
if that could make them all less traumatize,
as my hunger in life, has been minimize,
so I concentrate in my life, to be more organize….

mood switch (Original Rhyme)

As I stand right here, gazing fading stars,
This wind of change, cut deeper to my scar,
no matter how many tears, I manage to jar,
could only wonder, from a distant by far…

How you flick that switch, that change everything,
it become complicated, as it start to sink,
and all the sudden it only made you think,
what has been mention, and the song that I’ve sing,

but as if nothing happen, just a while ago,
What ever I’ll be feeling, deep down below,
kept it shut, no need to show,
Sooner or later, it’ll fade off so slow

Hurt by Johnny Cash / Nine Inch Nail

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

ps:

kept asking myself when will.......

Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers

How long, how long will I slide
Separate my side; I don't,
I don't believe it's bad
Slittin' my throat
it's all I ever...

I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up; it brought up the past
Once you know you can never go back
I've got to take it on the otherside

Centuries are what it meant to me
A cemetery where I marry the sea
Stranger things could never change my mind
I gotta take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on

How long, how long will I slide
Separate my side; I don't,
I don't believe it's bad
Slittin my throat
it's all I ever...

Pour my life into a paper cup
The ashtray's full and I'm spillin' my guts
She wants to know am I still a slut
I've got to take it on the otherside

A scarlet starlet and she's in my bed
A candidate for my soul mate bled
I push the trigger and I pull the thread
I've got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on

How long, how long will I slide
Separate my side; I don't,
I don't believe it's bad
Slittin' my throat
it's all I ever...

Turn me on, take me for a hard ride
Burn me out, leave me on the otherside
I yell and tell it that It's not my friend
I tear it down, I tear it down
And then it's born again

How long, how long will I slide
Separate my side; I don't,
I don't believe it's bad
Slittin' my throat
it's all I ever had (how long)
I don't,
I don't believe it's fair
Slittin' my throat
it's all I ever...

ps: yeah, how long?

Merdeka Raya...!

reminisce the warrior, that gave up their lives,
for a better today, so no more threat with a knives,
but we seems to forget, its a never ending war,
rise up fight back, keep on moving forth,
54 years of independent, dont let it slip,
keep on working hard, & stride a bigger leap

happy independent day Malaysia

Written In the Stars by Tinie Tempah

oh written in the stars
a million miles away
a message to the main
ooooh
seasons come and go
but I will never change
and I’m on my way

Lets go…
yeah
you’re listening now
they say they aint heard nothing like this in a while
thats why they play my song on so many different dials
cause i got more hits than a disciplined child
when they see me everybody brrrrrap’s, brrrrrraps
man I’m like a young gun fully black Barrack
I cried tear drops over the massive attack
I only make hits like I work with a racket and bat
look at my jacket and hat
so damn berserk
so down to earth
I’m bringing gravity back
adopted by the major I want my family back
people work hard just to get all their salary taxed
look Im just a writer from the ghetto like Malory blackman
where the hells all the sanity at, damn
I used to be the kid that no one cared about
thats why you have to keep screaming til they hear you out

[Chorus]

Yeah, I needed a change
when we ate we never took because we needed a change
I needed a break
for a sec I even gave up believing and praying
I even done the legal stuff and was leaded astray
now money is the root to the evilist ways
but have you ever been so hungry that it keeps you awake
mate, now my hunger would leave them amazed
great, it feels like a long time coming, fam
since the day I thought of that cunning plan
one day I had a dream I tried to chase it
but I wasn’t going nowhere, running man!
I knew that maybe someday I would understand
trying to turn a tenner to a hundred grand
everyones a kid that no-one cares about
you just have to keep screaming until they hear you out

[Chorus repeated]

[Outro]

ps: seldomly refer to a hiphop song, but im simply a fan of lyric.
plus this is so me

Torn Up (Original Rhyme)

even if im there, my heart is torn,
felt something missing, whenever your gone,
just like hatch born turtle, totally lost when they're born,
dash to the sea, or to death they'll be torn..

what wrong have ive done, to be feeling like this,
cant we swallow our pride, im begging you please,
just only for now, you could continue your list,
fight another day, towards thing that you're pissed..

whats the point, of me being around,
if it only kept me up & drag me down,
as i in search, of the peace that couldn't be found,
regardless how many years, ive even lost count...

Slmt hari 'crossfire' raya

Shimmer by Fuel

She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label

She says she's ashamed
And can she take me for awhile
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen on white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her

She says that love is for fools who fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...

Yea...
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
Guess I'll let it go

ps: hits the spot.

My own ME

someone told me: in life, theres so much people that we encounter that we need to be careful and cautious. Its either friends, family, co worker, passerby, love ones. Well basically anyone.

sometimes they think, the're doing u a favour, but instead they just make it worst. as that issnt your plan in the bigger picture. most of us have their own set of mind, and its almost impossible to change that. habits dies hard...

but yet some are still persistence in trying to change your mind. they'll would do Evey single thing just so that u abide to their demands. but then again till what extend? just because it favours you and your life, doesn't mean ill do it right? plus what is it in for me?

not trying to be sounding self centred like some people i know, but then again im fighting for individuality and also characteristic. you are not just a NUMBER. so let it be if anyone want to seclude you or to not letting you to be involve. you'll survive. i know i did. and so would you..

What you really want?

· A place that feels like home.

· Friends to share stories, trustworthy and wont judge you.

· People that care about your existence.

· Appreciation and cared by gesture.

· Peace among rivals and family.

· Time to do arts and craft.

· Honesty and sincerity.

· Sense of belongingness.

· A break from routine.

· The answer…

you only get what you give. Hope that’s right.

As what we want is not necessary what you need

Here comes the bride.......

Woke up to the loud sound of Paramore on my handphone alarm clock yesterday. Was thinking, why the heck I did that. Was on my off day, but then I’ve realized that need to go for this special event. It’s Lydia’s big wedding day. Drove down and wait for Kelvin and Ian at Leisure Mall. As Ian was the only one that knows the place. This will be considered my first time attending a church wedding. A whole new experience to me. Been to so many wedding but ill trying to see a different point of view.

It took us 30 min to go there, and 15 to find parking. Hish…. I was just going round and round and round….. Wes and Sue was suppose to be there, but technically they can’t find the place. Pass it to Ian to give direction, then we found out he was using GPS all the while. Ishhh……. So ended up they just left after 55min of going around the block. Trust me, it’s so confusing to get there.

After scribbling some words on the registration and such, we came in and sat down by the side of the mid section. It’s a gospel type of church. So there’s piano, drum set and etc. after a few min, the bride walks in.

here comes the bride,
all dress in white,
Here she comes on down the aisle
Behind her veil she wears a smile
In her hands the bright bouquet
Daddy's here to give the bride away
Best man fumbles for the band
Groom puts it on her trembling hand
Almost before the vows are through
In her calmest voice she says, "I do."

They sing all those song in the broachers. But I didn’t. You understand why. It was a simple wedding. I say this as I compare to the normal Malay Traditional wedding. as they exchange vows and rings, the sign on the dotted line and its official. Lydia is Desmond property. congrats.

Was invited to the lunch, but fasting larr.. congrats to the bride and groom and thank them for the invite. Abit lost on the way back. But worth it. Great experience. Wish you were there

Dear God,

Please make me a better person. In a way that if I got angry or disappointed at somebody, that I wouldn’t let it go towards a third party or even beat myself up. Please remind me that having what I have right now is far more important and that I should be thankful with every breath I take, and the better health that I acquire….

That, this is adequate for me to carry on. And please remind me that all this is just temporary. All the beauty, power, wealth, strength and etc. That one day when it’s all gone, that I will come back to you.

Artsy addict...

As I was delivering some food last nyte, I manage to get a glimpse of some indie landmark around klang valley. First off, I went to Gravy Baby.

This place was setup and owned by Wani Ardy. An indie artist Café bistro in Shah Alam. This is actually after they relocate it from Sri Kembangan. Try to search for the first one, but got lost. This time, direction was much better and easier to find.

Food was nice and simple. Environment was inspiring and parking was easy.

Later after that I went around Subang Jaya area. Was just cruising around found out Jet Fule was still open. I was like, why not drop by. I try make effort when ever I got the time. Even if it was 11 at nyte. As you would know, I Am Jet Fuel is a boutique for female attire and such right, but there I bought 4 new cd’s (Komplot, OCK, Metamatik and another indie artist).

Happen to know alis be performing next month 19^th Sept or something @ the Philharmonic Petronas. Finally she there among the big names at a world stage. She been doing well and traveling recording new song I suppose.

Congrats to our very own home grown artist. Been supporting you people ever since. Keep on rawking…!

Need by Reza Salleh

And I feel a little tired
Would you please be a little quiet
Would you love me a little bit more
This heart is a little sore

All I need is all of that before
Just like desire free, can’t I have all I adore

Mind at peace, days of ease, won’t you follow
Free of all, care for none
All I need is all of that before
Just like desire free, can’t I have all I adore

Residence, song-a-twelve, won’t you please me
A million words, all I’ve heard
Mind at peace, days of ease, won’t you follow
Free of all, care for none

And won’t you give all of, all of these things
What about what I want, what will you bring

Won’t you give all of, all of these things
What about what I want, what will you bring

What will you bring x3

Torn....
wonder why...

Name by The Goo Goo Dolls

And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name

You think you know me?

People knew the things that I’ve gone thru, but yet no one really ever cares. Why, because they know you gonna bounce back eventually. But less that they knew, how I’ve manage to recover. The fact is, it’s all bout working hard day in and day out. As to me, failure is never an option. With God’s will, I’ll just do my best. Hoping and praying for the best for me here and after.

Some might even say, just be grateful with what you have. Yes that’s true, but at least I’m trying something to make it better. I wont just admit defeat in things that’s mediocre. Wasn’t raise up to be a coward. I strive for excellent in everything that I do. I won’t just complain this and that. It’s a big push to strive harder. From there, all hell break loose and you just better watch out.

Usually I don’t have that much support group that I could bank on. Except for some family and a couple of friends. Thanks to the handful of them. Couldnt do this without your spirits…

Acquainted with the night by Robert Frost

I have been one acquainted with the night.

I have walked out in rain -- and back in rain.

I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.

I have passed by the watchman on his beat

And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet

When far away an interrupted cry

Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-bye;

And further still at an unearthly height,

O luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.