Behind Close Doors (Original Rhyme)

I just cant stand, keeping it to myself,
im like a pressure cooker, is not good for health,
so I finally blast out, all of the sudden,
its been far too long, just cant bare the burden

though I told you so many time, as if you would listen,
but then again, I don't want to be such a nuisance
so I sit down there hold back, and act all innocent,
until something happen, out of the recent

behind close doors, all subtle and silence,
I try my best, not to involve in violence,
so I pour my heart, just to ease the pain,
maybe I just need, a walk in the rain,

when will it stop, these trouble heart of mine,
how could they, simply act so blind,
though you treat them so nice, as fine as wine,
just have to wait, too quarter pass nine

Decorating Yunanation

Last weekend was the grand premier of Yuna’s first album launch at the best performing arts center KLPac. I suppose it’s the place where people start to know about her since Urbanscape 2008. It was a two day launch. We manage to go on Saturday as most of us haven’t really prepared to go on Friday.Its Yuna Decorate - Album launch, our very own local uprising artist. She and the band won so many awards already. Its about time she come out with a full album. Sure it’s gonna be great. I manage to rope in 8 people in total. More the merrier I suppose. We got Ara and cous, Emi, Udin, Art, Sharon and bf and me. Earlier on Thursday, I manage to go and take the tickets at I am jet fuel from Wawa. She got us the best seats around. Wicked…. I saw 1 of the long lost album sold over there in I'm jet fuel. Its ’ Oh Chenta Ku’. ill be getting that, one of these days.

Right after night fall, I gather around the troops and headed there. We tot it was at 830pm. As I saw it somewhere on the net or something that it was at 8.30. But then again, it was actually at 9pm. Memang dah terpang-pang kowt kat ticket. sorry people. I suppose they gave us buffer time to be late. Plenty of people that came around. The pentas 1 auditorium was packed. We manage to meet up aunty and uncle there. Aside from that I met up my bowling student amira balqis, yazid and gf and also cel. Wow, never tot that they are all yuna's fan too. At the foyer, there was cd and t-shirt for sale, Macbeth shoes on display. All of her sponsors. She and the band made it big. Congrats.

Hunny Madu was emceeing the event. And you know how she bring the show down... full with energy, passion, fun. And I just realized she is freakingly tall. I never know that. Here ar the list of song that was brought to the table.

1^st set
Someone out of town
Gadis semasa
Rocket
Permission
Super something
Greek goddess
Sparkle

2^nd set
Fireworks
Dan sebenarnya
These streets
Penakut
Coffee
Cinta sempurna
Random awesome

To me its like a sing along session. As I know the lyric by heart. Don't get me wrong, this is my type of lyric and songs. Deep truthful lyric. That is what makes her stand out among the crowd. Some new song was in the showcase, but it was nice that theres new material on the album. Of cause I always love permission and also these streets. While the others are still good and refreshing.

Ara and cous went down and line up for the autograph session. siap bawak guitar lagik tuh tuk sign.. hehehheee.... We hang in with her for awhile before we went back. We haven't had dinner yet. Perut pun dah buat ochestra. So we bail out the scene. It was a great outing if you ask me. To hang with friends enjoying a gig. Congrats to the band, support staff and family. It was a success. Hoping for the best in the future. Thanks for the experience. Majulah indie untuk negara.

Ps: thanks for granting the permission to use these streets. peace...!

Test of time (Original Rhymes)

you were out of town, it seems like forever,
could I get use to it, and deal with this fever,
simply lost my touch, drown in that river,
all these time you were there, to be my savior,

I miss you still, tho we just had a talk,
I do what you like, as I'm alone in this fog,
so your spirit lives in me, engraving on a rock,
always be in my heart, the one I seal and locked,

hope you doing good, I pray for the best,
now days I feel so restless, this I must confess,
not so far apart, but I see you less and less,
I suppose its part of love, its just another test.

ps: Missing you badly nny.

The Support Unit

People always say that I’m not self centered. That I care more bout other people, compare towards myself. Regardless the pain, agony and even troublesome. I suppose that’s just me. A support unit. The type of job that I do before and currently reflects the same thing. I coach, I’ve trained, I manage and the thing is, I’m happy to make other people happy. Maybe it doesn’t pay that much, but the smile on an individual face and the triumph that they achieved something is more than rewarding. Even if they won’t admit that they need help. It’s not an attempt to please someone, but in a sense of helping others that in need. It’s a trill.

When I was small, I always pray to god that I be given the chance and opportunity to help people that needed help. Back then, I was given a second chance in life. I suppose that’s the best thing that I could do in return. My intention is that people would keep on moving in their own life. I don’t mind helping people, maybe that’s the purpose of my life. What ever it is, ill keep on doing it. At my own pace and towards those who need any more help. Till then, hope we meet again.

simply j@a

Nothing Else Matters by Metallica

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Yeah, trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know, that's right

Never opened myself this way
And life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters, yeah

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for things they say
Never cared for games they play
I never cared for what they do
I never cared for what they know
And I know, yeah yeah yeah


Songwriters: Hetfield, James Alan; Ulrich, Lars;

ps:

when your in love with someone, nothings else matters..
without a shadow of doubt...

much love
-j@a-

Whip it up

After all my year, on this god green earth. I just found out a lil bit of obsession that I have. I collect belts. Yikes. Up to now, I got like 12 belts that is in use and in good conditions. Either leather, cotton, pvc. Who cares. I once heard that Michelle Branch is a belt buckle collector. Didn’t know that I do almost the same thing too. Hish… I don’t mind getting it. Really need it to strap my hip hop pants from falling down. I don’t want to be the next ‘pants on the ground ‘ fiesta. Hahhahahaaa….. that ol man is funneh…

Broken glass

Last night, I happen to clear up my room and shelf. Since it’s a display set, I moved the glass on my bed for a while. After a few while of getting the cupboard clean and dusted. I decided to relax for a while. Fail to realized when I started to sit down, I happen to sit down on the glass mirror instead. Ouch.. at first I was thinking, what was the thing that I sat on. The mirror cracked and plenty of small piece of glass was scattered. I tried to pick it up 1 piece at a time with my bear fingers. But it was too much. Some even became as small as grains of sand. Really sharp ones. My fingers got irritated (pedih) and apparently some of the glass hit my skin at my lower back. This small particle was so small that its almost invisible to the naked eyes. I managed to wash it up. But the agony pain was still there. i dont know whether its scars or still small particle of glass. After that took light shower, I hope most of it was wash away. in the morning, i still felt it. so, i slept by my side as always. so i wont apply unnecessary pressure. Yikess…. illl be fine, i guess. will let you know if i ended up somewhere. so no need to worry.


i suppose i got a Super SOUL....!

Supersoul by Dilana

How does it feel, now you're the joke,
burned flaming tongue.
So many times I'd wished you'd choke,
on your proverbs and predictions.
You knew it all, ran the show,
left a bruise, without feeling a damn thing,losing grip of your emotions...

but that's history,
you don't scare me,
although I'm small,
I'm bullet proof, and ten feet tall,don't doubt myself,
don't play a role.
My scars have healed,
Got a super soul.
[yeah, got a supersoul]

Another game, sickly insane,
gave me the blame,I could've licked you in your sleep,dreaming conspiracies, to haunt me.
You made the rules, religiously,
No compromise,
of the rob authority.
Blinded by the spells of darkness...

but that's history.you don't scare me,
although I'm small.
I'm bullet proof, and ten feet tall,
don't doubt myself,
don't play a role.
my scars have healed.
Got a super soul.
[I'm stronger now than I've ever been before
there's no way you can hurt me anymore,]

[I feel brand new, and it's all because of you
so all I can say is ...THANK YOU!]

You don't scare me,
although I'm small,
I'm bullet proof, and ten feet tall.
don't doubt myself,
I don't play a role.
My scars have healed,
got a super soul...
You don't scare me,
although I'm small,
I'm bullet proof, and ten feet tall,
Yeah, my scars have healed,
I've forgotten my words.
don't play a role,
got a super soul...
got a super soul....


ps: tho Dilana lost out to Lukas Rossi to be the lead singer of Supernova, but she really brought in her own song.. Super soul........! get it..?

Sir, sir I’m ECR certified!

Last Tuesday me and yat went for a further upgrading. We went to a CPR and First Aid course in FIT Asia @ Damansara Perdana. I initial exposure to CPR was years ago. Back then it was 2 rescue breath and 15 compressions. I even got the chance to perform it to a suffocating victim. Manage to rescue that person, and the last time I’ve check the person was still alive.
Every 2 years there’s new method. The updated version would be 2breath and 30 compressions for a single cycle. Weii……! Its like doing cardio man. Tempo would be like 100 beat per min. LAJU kowt….! Arghhh……Stephanie Chok (my senior during freshmen years in varsity) was the one conducting. Knowing that, I would expect that I’m not gonna be given a special treatment. The more I gotta be on my toes and such.

During training theres a lot of mess up that we heard. Among them were
Student: “you red t-shirt, called 911”
Facilitator: “ hey, 911 tuh Amerika larr. Malaysia 999”

Student: “sir, sir, are you ok? Im ______, im ECR certified.
Facilitator: CPR lar, ECR bukan warning letter ker…?
Student: While doing Compression “ 7, 8 , 9, 10, 23, 24, 25”
Facilitator: alamak….bukan sajer CPR kener aja, mengira pun keener ajar jugak. Terus lompat 23 pulak.

Steph is a Sarawakian. So go figure…..


All these people are qualified, just that they were too nervous that they tend to mess it up abit. But its never failed to put a lil laughter in our session. I was one of the people that did the practical exam in one go. No retakes. But bealive me though I had experience, my heart beat was pounding faster than usual. But manage to control my nerves. Bought the CPR tool kit. Just in case. What’s the point of getting certified but you cant perform it because inadequate of instrument. Yeay, proud to say that, “I’m CPR certified”…..

bird day...? hishh...!

Question AGE: ?

Answer young AGE : )

Woaw....just celebrated my b'day recently (last wednesday to be exact). And would love to thank everyone that played a role in making me feel that its worth living. Those who I known for far so long or they who are still around with me. Family and friends, loves ones and superior..

well basically, during the eve of my bday, I kinda left my keys at the club after working hours. Hish.... such indicator that it would be a terrible day this year around. I was even thinking that I would gonna have to stay here or even bunk in somewhere. Manage to get my keys after running back to the office and caught up with the receptionist. Phew..... that was a close one. I was even thinking of just hangging out there till my 630am appointment.

As usual, I don't looked forward so much on birthdays. Maybe I expect too much, then again been disappointed for far to long too. Kinda felt depressed for no particular reason. Don't blame me. I do keep an open mind on it, maybe theres a silver lining out from it. Who knows. So I just kept on doing what I do best. Get organized and make the best out of every min and opportunity..

In the morning, I got a basket full with bread. From panini type to the focaccia. Woaw..... plenty of reason to eat healthy and experiment with bread. Yeay... lifted up my mood a bit. As work wasn't planned into real execution, I have to stand by. Got the chance to decorate a bike to be on display. Was so freakingly awsome. Just to kill off the time.

We train up regional team of FF Asia. There were from malaysia, hong kong, singapore and indonesia. It was fun working with them. We did fitness fix. Some of them were really fit. Super fit to be exact. Especially the gxm Chenta chin from indonesia.

When to mbf for pt, then went to pyramid. Inbetween, I hang out wit yasser for dinner. At least thats the best I could do for now. A true friend indeed. We catch up about life and progress. Back to pyramid, I manage to meet up team UITM. There was art, mardyana and johara. Kewl, I havent met them up for quite awhile. Wicked....! train bowling. Abg ZD wish was not to be forgotten. He said something like, “happy 'bird day' man. This would be the day that your bird is set free.” I was like gelak sambil tutup muker jek. Aduhai..... thats your Abg ZD ppl... very witty.

My FB was packed by tons of bday wishes. Among the one that I would remember is zu from team wm said 'happy bday encik sasa...' yeah rite. that was a laugh. Sms and call was a bundle. I even have to stop training for awhile. But the clients was ok with it. Sorry I cant thank each one of you people in person. But please bear in mind you people are the best. Each and everyone of you.

Yesterday we had club launch and they threw up a bday party. To get there with all the july baby. All 3 of us. That was fun. Manage to escape. But still in the lookup for cake or even eggs... yikes...

Just another year to be better than before. To take things lightly and determinedly. With everything that the world and life would throw at me. Go ahead. Bring it. As long as im still breathing, ill keep on fighting.

Catch a falling star and put it in a pocket

its that time of the month again. All these years, it's been a bit dull. Last year was slightly nicer when Im with my FFDUT friends. Thanks to Aud and big sis dayang fro throwing up that surprise. This time around, I don't know what to expect. so i rather be working. what ever it is, it dosent feel right. always has been. So basically I got no mood.

But I do wish that I

• could see those that I was close before. My adek2, friends, family, love ones.. gather them up together and such over dinner or anything

• get some rest instead of working too much.

• be appreciated.(may be im asking to much)

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

goo goo dolls – better days

that's just hope and dreams. i will never stop hoping..

pop the poppy

don't you think that music now days are more commercialized..? its either about sex, money, booze and getting hi. aren't there more things than that to write about....? rude boi? Billionaire? Rock That Body? My First Kiss?

back then, lyricist wrote about getting thru life, bring back the soul, jazz,funk and R&B even. now days R&B are becoming popish to the bone. hish.... too much techno yall. let those bass and beat to the dance... song like 'get by' , 'do for love', 'dear life'.. we in need of artist that are talented. not celebrities who are twisted.

may be its me and my era of music. but what ever happen to soul, rock, rap, folk, acoustic and such...? now days mass media is all about promoting whats seems to be a all around dance floor anthem. from rockers to rappers, all dive in this techno and dance ish. we are all not happy all the time. unless you be taking ecstasy every 5-6 hours.

bring back the thinking artist which sing and write with substance and food of thought. challenge your mind, be better. inspire yourself. is that much to ask...?

She's out of my league

Of cause its not you basic blockbuster movies. But thats the main reason I went out to watch it. Not a chick flick, but instead the opposite. Filled with cursing, rowdiness, and guy ish... its funny tho. But the morale from the story is the hard truth.

“Kirk is an average Joe who works as a TSA agent at the Pittsburgh airport with his friends. The status quo of his fairly monotonous life ends when he meets Molly, a smart, kind and gorgeous blonde. Because she's way out of his league (she's a hard 10 and he is but a 5), Kirk knows there's no way on earth she's ever going to fall for him. Or is there...?”

taken from IMDb

Well basically its all about acceptance the other person and especially you yourself. If you are confident enough about your self, then there nothing else to it. None of us are perfect. But to find someone who is a perfect match to you. No how we might not admit it, we all have our own flaws. But that wont matter much to those who matter most to us. Is not about changing them, but accept them as who they are.

Stainer: Okay, anyway... I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five.
Devon: Stainer, that's just a dirty pool. He's at least a six.
Stainer: A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his a**hole. I'm just being honest.
Jack: Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point cause he's a nice guy. Right? And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six. Devon's right.
Stainer: But he drives a s***box, deduct a point. Take a point off.
Kirk: Wait, what's wrong with my Neon?
Stainer: Oh, I don't know, except the people who make that car don't even like it. So, we're back to a five.
Jack: Five.
Stainer: Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that's a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can't jump more than two points.

-Movie quotes-

well, thats what I think tho. My point of view. Its a good movie, and yall should watch it.. pronto. Before eclipse start... got tickets already tho..hahahhaaa....

I'm OK by Christina Aguilera

Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK

I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done
To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

It's not so easy to forget
All the lines you left along her neck
When I was thrown against cold stairs
And every day I'm afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there

Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK
I'm OK



ps: this couldn't slip my mind.
i just got to share it with yall.
simply raw emotions..