Sunshine on my window

”Far too long I’ve been in a sad and sorrow surrounding. Had a great talk with my shining star that made me realized I need to let loose. I know that a lot of people have been saying this to me. But I couldn’t care less. Family, friends and even adk2. but it took true patients and perseverance to make me change to a better and improve person. That will be another post altogether.”

from my recent post. so here it is:

Ive been surrounded by a lot of negativity. Its been along time. So sometimes it becomes a habit to be a little depressive. Yeah I know its bad in the long run and I'm changing my ways. Its for a better me. Well when you felt wanted, loved and appreciated then it totally change 180° away from the negative aspect.

I'm happy with the new me. I'm calmer and never felt so wanted. People always consider me as the emo one. Maybe its because I never open up. But that has all change. Thanks to YOU. Would like to thank you for lifting my spirits and drive me to be better than I was. Hopefully I've done the same to you too. Love You...!

You Got Me by One Block Radius

You Got Me
No need to wonder why.
Don't have to question,
So leave your worried mind

Now I don't wanna lose you,
But I'm tryin' do, what I gotta do, do.
I know the style of my life might confuse you.
And I don't blame you one bit.
I don't even say nothin' when you tripp.

But I thought I told you?
You can put it on my shoulder's, I can hold you.
And I don't care who all believes me, I'ma show you.
Momma it's been a long time.
My leadin', bangin boys about to shine,
All up on my grind.
Gotta get this money what door, just a little crack.
I'm gonna kick it in and make some noise, baby I'll be back.
Gotta keep you movin' ma,
That's how we do it ma,
We chasin' dreams and makin wishes,
I'm your shootin' star.

Now I don't really want to leave you right now,
And I don't even really wanna go.
And I don't even wanna see you cry now,
Baby you should, already know.
Sooo.

You Got Me, (You know that you got me)
No need to wonder why. ( No reason to wonder why)
Don't ever question, (You ain't got to question)
So leave your worried mind (It'll be alright)
((Repeat))

No cooking required

I’ve been listening to a totally different genre lately. You might say I’m following aina’s footstep. Yes people, I’m listening to a lil jazz. There’s a program on Traxx FM call the ‘Jazz Kitchen - no cooking required’. Just say I’m sick and tired of all those gaga, and pop ish. On Jazz Kitchen, there’s tons of cool new style of tunes that is away from the mainstream. Other than that, there is also some R&B and Soul. It’s very calming with less angst and sorrow. Still slow, but at least in a positive manner.

changing to a better me. And im loving it. TETUKA...!

Gabai Gaban! waterfall....!

It was a totally impromptu day as I got nothing planned to do. So as usual, I made myself useful. I tried to help out Yat with her upcoming test next Tuesday. Hopefully she pass this time around. A lil role play. All the sudden, awien ask me to go gabai. Gabai is actually a river. Sg gabai has a beautiful waterfall which placed in between Ampang and Kajang I guess. Batu 14 Hulu Langat. Yes people, im from hulu… so what…! As he caught me off guard, I was like

“huh..? u sure? I looks like it gonna rain..?” as usual ill hesitate of going to such thing and try to make some excuse. That’s just me.

Then edgar said he’ll tag along too. So it’s on. I suppose I’m taking fizah’s style on things. The ‘jom attitude’. At first, all I wanted to do there was write some ish as it might gave me some inspiration bout stuff. Need some time off to clear my mind anyway. Far too long I’ve been in a sad and sorrow surrounding. Had a great talk with my shining star that made me realized I need to let loose. I know that a lot of people have been saying this to me. But I couldn’t break thru. Family, friends and even adk2. but it took true patients and perseverance to make me change to a better and improve person. That will be another post altogether.

We just finish working out ok. Of cause we hungry. Pt like us eat at least 6 times per day (yeah I do! full meal ok) Awien said we go eat there then we dip in the pool. We went down uptown around 315 and reach gabai around 4.25. then one stall after another we pass, with a musical hungry stomach. Sorry ed! It was pouring all the way from curve area till ampang. But remarkably as we reach sg gabai, there was not even a drop. I was like ‘huh…? ! what gives…?’

Had some goring pisang, keropok leko b4 our climb. It took us at least 15min just to climb those high stairs. Well almost to the top that is. Other than that, we have to climb the rocks. Since we were still munching the goodies to avoid dying from starvation, we kept on climbing. Its really hard to skip 2 stair case and eat at the same time. We were totally out of breath. Most of the mak cik , akak and other people, had several stop before they reach on top. I was like, promoting us 3.

‘fitness first anyone…?hahhahahahaa… biggest loser asia baby….!’

The view was superbly beautiful. Such creation made by god. It makes u feel so small. yet we tend to act like we know all or we own the world.


We put our bags on the other side of the river. It was so, cococold…..! surprisingly I didnt feel it at the first dip. The other two did. The said it was so cold, that they don’t immediately go for it.. Must be my body temp I suppose. It’s always warm and heated up. After siting right under the water fall, we took a break for awhile. Tons of people around. Especially ‘chicas’. I was like, padan larr awien nak ajak sgt. Hahahaaa…. Kantoi. Then we tried the slide. Yeap! It look dangerous but so many style and all age group. So I wouldn’t care less. Some even try out to be the silver surfer. It feels like theres a kid waiting to go out of me to have some fun. hahhahaaa…. Lawaks, I know.



We crawl back down around 630. not that bad huh…? I was totally wicked. I don’t mind to have these type of action. But not always of cause. Once in a blue moon. But ill be back again. Maybe that will be my new year resolution, raid as many waterfalls as possible. Worth a try..

ps:
dierorg nieh nak balik masuk punch card kowt. hahahaa

Secukup Rasa (Karya Asli)

Kenapa kalian terasa, walau ku tak sebutkan nama,
Ianya kepada siapa, tidak ku ceritakan semua,
Apa dalam hati, takkan ku biar ia mati
Mungkin kau kan ketahui, pada suatu hari nanti

Sampai bilakan jadi begini, sungguhpun aku tidak mengerti,
Pergolakkan didalam dunia, sehingga salah seorang mati,
Ku hanya mangsa bencana, tidak siapa ambil peduli,
Apa yang tersirat, didalam hati nurani

Biarkan ku sahaja, kerana aku tak terdaya,
Apa-apa rancangan mereka, ku tutup sebelah mata,
Selagi tidak diganggu, diriku, rakan dan keluarga
Kesengsaraan kami disini, akan terbela juga akhirnya

Creep by Radiohead

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so f***in' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so f***in' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here,

ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so f***in' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...

ps:
i kno i am 1..
but it dosent change how i feel for you

Sleeping Angel (Original Rhyme)

As I cry dry tears beside my cheek,
Words so fast, what have I speak,
If you go silent, I will always freak,
Cause I’m deeply in love and it’s you that I seek

Please forgive me, for what I’m not,
Didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s not even a plot,
But again and again, I simply being caught,
All of a sudden, situation became hot,

miss you so much, it’s you I care so deep,
I tried my best, for your good night sleep,
To make you calm, so that I could keep
You in my heart, though I’m just a creep.

return to innocent

I dearly miss my coaching days. Last night something unexpected happen. I was coaching this 12 year old kid. I was drinking this smoothies of pineapple, banana and mango. I gave her a sip, then she took 2^nd and 3^rd. I don’t mind. then all the sudden she decided to take it all and cough. She said, ‘I think I got h1n1 symptom. So abg jaa cannot drink it anymore’ I was like, shoot. I got hustle by a kid..? no way mann. I took it and finish it right away. Kids and their innocence. Just want to straggle each and 1 of them. grrr…. But it makes me remind to all those years I was dealing with kids and teenagers.

This is a picture rewind to reminisce those session of:

‘stairs to the summit’,

gym session @ msns,

raya celebration pot luck session @ the alley

bowling competition

and cam whoring session

Back then the single club

I miss all that session.

Where people are pure and dare to be weird.

Return to innocent

Though I wasn’t happy as a person then,

but at lest I have those darn kids to make me smile and laugh when times were rough.

Happy new year people...!

Would just like to take this opportunity to wish a very happy new year to every one around. New resolution.? Is not to have one. But simply do better then what last year stored for me. Don’t want to hope it to happen, but to MAKE IT happen.

Salam muharram. Dunt 4get to fast on the 10, in conjunction of Asyura day

Why should I?

All this while I was considered ok. Not much of a trouble maker, neither am I an angel. I manage my life well, but sometimes meet up with a few speed bump here and there. That's is just human. Cant expect me to be perfect. Tho I tried to be. But till when?

I never ask so much in this life. Just that I hope people could accept me for who I am. If they don't simply stay away from me. Everyone crave for that. Including you. I never did you wrong to start with. So please don't let me hate you. I respect everyone in this life including my enemy. Simply because, there are just human. Fill with FLAWS and sometimes EMPTY sense of consideration.

I accept if it is faith, with all my heart. So please do the same on other peoples life. I pray to Allah that this thing will be done soon and with no string attached. And we human would treat people equally. Amin.

to be or not to be

Last weekend I got the privileged to watch Theater : Natrah – “cinta dan air mata” @ Istana Budaya for the 2^nd time. Yurrp, back to theater again. Directed by the famous Eirma Fatima.

A story bout a dutch girl who was given away to a Malay silk merchant during the trouble times during the invasion of Japanese army to Indonesia. Natrah was brought over to Kemaman and brought up as a muslimin with the help of the adopted mother. The bio parents came about to know that she was still alive and want her back with them. As they argue and struggle about parenting rights, religion and love totally made the poor little Natrah confuse. As her heart is at Malaya (that time around) but was force to go back to let go her childhood life and back to Holland. She ended up converting back to Catholic as she was still under age according to the dutch law.

She just pass away early this year. This living legend, died of leukemia. She was emotional turmoiled as she tried to commit suicide several time. Its a very heavy story line but excellently done with the colorful dance choreography and dialog that is so simple but yet made you think. Though the level of the dance routine sometimes overshadow the main character which makes the stage very crowded.

Since it was the second time I watched it, I found out there's was a small different where the main character Natrah fell onto the adopted mum Aminah during the last struggle. But it was superbly covered. What people don't know don't hurt. Among of the all star actors and actress are Maya Karin, Remy Ishak, Sofea Jane, Umie Aida.

well that's what I think about the show of cause. Who am I..? just a spectator.

After that, thanks to mummy we had supper at the VIP room together with all the producer and also my significant other. It was so awkwardly for us to be there. But we had the table for our self. Till next theater. Other place plz. Dewan Bandaraya ker DBP ker.who knows

want you back (backdated original rhyme)

Miss you so, just to let you know,
Made me regret, for letting you go,
The biggest apology, to you I owe,
The secrets we kept and the promise we vow,

Why did I, ever leave you there,
When we know, we’re the perfect pair,
You were always there, just to show you care,
What we had was great, and ever so rare

So please believe me, that I want you back,
My love is sincere, and it’s a fact,
Do forgive me, for what I’m lack,
The last thing I want, is to see you pack

ps:
its not my story OK...!
this is actually a rhyme i made way back when (2years ago)
but never got the chance to be publish.
for one of my adik who was having relationship trouble.
and supprisingly, she is now back together again with the boyfriend.


dedicated to my adik.
Miss Rinee & Kenneth
let it last till the end.

Wild boy

What a Saturday it was. Just to let you know, I had a much unexpected day. As I woke up, my mum ask me to chop off the tree behind my house. It was actually strike down by lightning, so it was split up into 3 and fell down to the neighbor’s courtyard. I wasn’t around to do it on the weekdays. So that morning I was suddenly woke up from bed (on a lay back Saturday morning) just to get it done. All I had was a parang. Imagine the tree was as big as a 17’ monitor in diameter and around 20ft high. It was a really huge tree ok. That time around I was literally doing ‘wood chop’ (name of an exercise for abs/obliques).


As I was doing it, my right hand was swelling due to friction and such. Ended up I use my left hand half way. My left hand isn’t that strong. So as I was chopping the block, I suddenly let go off my grip. The parang suddenly fell down in fell onto my abs. arghhh…..! thank god it was abit blunt as I climb down the ladder slowly and absorbing the impact. It took me a total time of 46min to get it done. I got 4 scars on my arms and 7 ant’s bite. It was awesome….! It felt like been attack by a wolf or something as the scars are like ive been clawed.


Later that nite we had our pt jungle bbq party. It was at Kemensah behind Zoo Negara in Ampang. This is in conjunction the pt team hit budget 2 months in a row. So it’s the a guesture of thanks by our FM Awien. Ive arrived at the zoo enterance at 7pm. But I only reach the site 47min later. I got lost 4 times. Apparently some people gave ‘great’ direction and leaving all the important details. All they said was, after the zoo, go left and straight till the end. And the route was dammed creepy ok. As I got lost 3 times, I went almost to the end of the world. i almost gave up finding the place.


A total of 9 pt and 2 foh came by. It took them 2 hours to get the fire started. Then after a few rounds of hot dogs and chicken, the fellers went in for a dip in the nearby river. They were having so much fun and left me to cook everything else. It seems like forever to cook 6 chicken, 120 hotdogs and 40 burgers. Yup people, that’s all we had, no carbs (carbo) at all. Talking bout loading. Bahahhahhaaa…… took plenty of picture. Around 124 or so. Here is some of it.




Went back around 12. Was so creepy that I blast off without waiting for the others. Most of them stayed back at the chalet. Next time do it in the morning k…!

it was a great outdoor challenge for me. wouldnt meind to do it again

Afterglow by INXS

Here I am,
Lost in the light of the moon,
That comes through my window.

Bathed in blue,
The walls of my memory divides,
The thorns from the roses.
It's you and the roses.

[CHORUS]
Touch me and I will follow,
In your afterglow.
Heal me from all this sorrow,
As I let you go.
I will find my way
When I see your eyes,
Now I'm living,
In your afterglow.

Here I am,
Lost in the ashes of time,
But who wants tomorrow,
In between,
Longing to hold you again,
I'm caught in your shadow.
I'm losing control.

My mind drifts away,
We only have today.

[CHORUS]
Touch me and I will follow,
In your afterglow.
Heal me from all this sorrow,
As I let you go.
I will find my way,
I will sacrifice,
'Til the blinding day,
When I see your eyes.

Now I'm living,
In your afterglow [in your afterglow].
When the veils are gone,
As I let you go,
As I let you go.

[CHORUS]
Touch me and I will follow,
In your afterglow.
Heal me from all this sorrow,
As I let you go.
I will find my way I will sacrifice,
Now I'm living,
In your afterglow.

Bathed in blue,
The walls of my memory divides,
The thorns from the roses.
It's you who is closest.


ps:
1 of the sad sorrow love song by INXS
lead by their new lead singer JD Fortune

Diri Ku (Karya Asli)

Ku bukan seorang seniman yang ingin berkarya,
Tetapi seorang insan, mengejar kebenaran yang bahaya,

Ku bukan ingin mencari, kesengsaraan mereka semua,
Tapi ingin mengerti, apa yang terjadi dan apa yang tiada,

Ku tidak ingin dikenali, berdasarkan tinggi dan rupa,
Cukuplah sudah, apa didalam hati dan minda,

Inilah diriku, yang serba tiada,
Menghadapi kehidupan, meredah ombak gelora