Momma's cry (Original Rhyme)

As you stayed strong, through all of these years,
to the time you broke down, and filled with tears,
patiently I wait, wanting to hear,
try making you proud, give you something to cheer..

You been through that road, for far too long,
I was there to support you, all awhile and all along,
to check on you, when your in doubt or in the wrong,
I knew you too well, just like my favorite song..

So dry off those tears and pick your self up,
its just a speed bump, you don't need to gulp,
we been through worst, will cure with just a rub,
momma don't you worry, definitely God will help

The quest...!

Really went around KL yesterday. Consider my off day. So I went to all the places that I’ve yearn to go but put t hold. 1st of all, I went to Amcorp Mall in search of a kettlebell. I totally fell in love with it. Apparently there was a big garage sale which take place every weekend. From Japan baseball jersey, vinyl records, CD Singles, stamps, dolls, and even a batman face mask. hahhahaa….. manage to get myself an old Gabrielle greatest collection cd vol 1 (which I so deeply in loved…!). her sounds are like Norah Jones or Sade but way more cheerful. then I went to the fitness store and get myself the kettlebell. Tryout the gym stick, push up bar, kettle bell, and also the resistant band. its like a small gym wit stuff...

Next stop, Pertama Complex. Hahahhaaa…. It’s situated just beside Sogo. Talking about nostalgic. I still remember, Last time I was around that area was when I march pass Dataran Merdeka in conjunction with the Merdeka celebration in 1996. I represented the army cadet. I went there to find myself a set of skittle for plyometric training. Traffic around that was a drag. Hrmmmmm…..

As I was about to leave KL town, I had my last and final stop. Annex and Central Market. Every time I leave my home, there’s this big billboard showing the grand Central Market. Love to drown myself with arts and craft. Here they held my first indie gig that I attended. That time around was a salute to the female vocalist. Performance featured Ana Raffali, Robot Asmara, Sundae and such. It was a long outing for me. But it was worth it. every single second of it.

Faith by seven collar t-shirt

Take a walk I'll hold your hands for now
It's happening, it's happening
Makes it hard to lose another night

I'll pretend that I'm a man for now
It's difficult, it's difficult
To soothe a wounded heart

Before you go, give me all of your love
Before you go, I'll give you all of mine

I'll drink water because my blood has dried
It's different, it's different
Than anything you've seen or heard before

Take a picture, hold that smile forever
I'll drink it everyday till it becomes another skin

Before you go, give me all of your love
Before you go, I'll give you all of mine

If it makes it easier
If it makes it easier to breathe

Fading away
Faith is a friend
You make it or break it

Fading away
Faith is a friend
You make it or break it

If it makes it easier
If it makes it easier
Wish it could be easier
I can't breathe
If it makes it easier
If it makes it easier to breathe

Fading away
Faith is a friend
You make it or break it

Fading away
Faith is a friend
You make it or break it


ps: one of my fave indie bands.
awsome deep full lyrics.
wish i could write as them. grrr......

Deklamasi puisi di ABC

Last night I went and fetch mummy from KL Sentral. She just got back from Ipoh. One of my aunty was seriously ill and later passed away yesterday morning due to the spread of breast cancer(Al- Fatihah). As we were reminiscing all the time we were there for them, each one of us wrote a sad but beautiful rhyme for my aunty and their love ones that was left behind. Four grown up princesses, which I haven’t seen for quite a while. Glad that I went back to Ipoh last Tuesday. Didn’t get the chance to see Mami Nor, but manage to catch up with Ayuni (the eldest) instead.

So there was the two us, eating dinner at a restaurant nearby. So I’ve updated her on my latest writings. I read her my latest rhyme ‘As for now’. While listening to me, she took out a note pad and start writing. Talking bout struck by inspiration. It’s really important to jot down what ever that comes to your mind at any particular time. I usually use my cellphone to keep track with ideas. Or maybe title even.

Below is the puisi that mummy wrote:

Keberangkatan Pulang
(untuk ayuni, najwa, hidayah dan azlina)

Tiba-tiba,
kita jadi dua manusia asing,
dan aku hampir
tak mengenali mu
disebalik topeng hayat itu
sempat ku sapa
sepasang mata mu yang lesu
dan di pucat wajah
walau ku pasti
kau tak mengetahui kehadiran ku

Nor
hari ini tamatlah derita mu
tamatlah kembara itu
di tanah gersang
di malam tak berbintang
di lembah tanpa kasih sayang
dan dalam rasa berdosa ini
aku merasa lega
kerna Dia akan menyambut mu
di bumi syuhada
Al-fatihah

(Ipoh 20hb March 2010 by siti ruqaiyah hashim)


This truly reminds me of the Lepak Café in kelana mall or Gravy Baby in Sri Kembangan. Cafés which features live acts by indie artist / bands or even poets. Great place for art lovers. Sharing a simple common interest. Mummy always tell me, ‘you as a writer. Just go write what’s close to the heart. Not what you want to think that you want to write.’ Apparently my flare is mostly towards angst and sorrow. I’m not always in that state of mind, bealive me.

“You don’t choose destiny, it chooses you”

As for now (Original Rhyme)

As I came back to that empty house,
shared tears and laughter, then suddenly pause...
wishing things were, how much it was,
then I stumbly cry, without a cause..

As they grew up, before our eyes,
to the time they left, full with cries,
they felt so betray, with all those lies,
simply walking away, to be more wise...

As we walk through heat and chilly night,
have our own battle, that we need to fight,
hoping that we succeed with all of our might,
till one day we'll meet up, under a bright moon light.

dedicated to my cousins.
stay strong girls...

Max Hesitation (Original Rhyme)

make up your mind and let it be clear,
don't you hesitate when decision become near,
live it up a little, there's nothing to fear,
just step on it, proceed to next gear,
why you stalling, there's nothing here,
is it approval, that you wanting to hear,
don't you be burden, don't you even stutter,
just follow your heart, and not your peer......

inspired by a small lil thing.
it was written towards a passer by.

Latah - the legend continue

Have you ever heard of the term melatah..? its something like a trait that if you shocked someone, they would react in a blabber kind of way. Apparently this thing would only happen to malays. Weird… but yeah. Along my life, I’ve meet up with several people that have this trait (consider funny bone literally). Rul, yat, alya and also isha. 3 of them are my friends and 1 is my adek (name are in short form to avoid repercussions). They appear to be normal, but would blabber all the weird things to the darnesst thing if they are shocked.

Back in the days would be, ‘ohpocot’. Recently I heard from an indie skate video they said ‘owh mak kau siti nurhaliza’.. betul, tak tipu…! But yeah that’s that. Like the time we tickle rul saying something bout muay thai, he went with a full knee assault to the table. Then after the short trance, then he felt the pain. Pity him seriously… Once in a while, it’ll be alright.. But if its too often, would be too much..

(hyperstartling; “The person who has this syndrome has a severe reaction to being surprised (or shocked) in which he/she loses control of his/her behaviour- mimic the speech and actions of those around him/her and sometimes obey any commands given to him/her” –wiki-)

Illuminate yourself (Original Rhyme)

all you do is take, when ever your distress,
don't even care about others, neglect all the rest,
as long as you gain, regardless whats the mess,
don't really get you, don't know what to guess..

you're so darn selfish, to me your a pest,
but you wont leave, yet still built a nest,
I know life is hard, but its all just a test,
what would you do, when everything seems less,

rise to the occasion, when nobody cares,
you wont get anything, hiding behind that desk,
get what you give, unleash all those stress,
be helpful to others, bring out your best.

thats me...!

People always ask me, ‘whoa? You’re a trainer..? cool, but you don’t look buffed up.’ Of cause not. We are simply trainers, not body builders. Plus we got so much things to do, people to train, diet to keep track and such. We can’t afford to spent ½ of the day eating. As a matter of fact, sometime we don’t have time to eat at all. Haah…! Just look at bob and jillian or dave and kristy from the biggest loser. They are just fit and presentable. That’s all that’s matter. You don’t see a lot of buffed up guys running the cat walk and such right..? that’s too much of an ego to handle.

By the way, congrats to king david who has massively knock out 83 kg and crowned asia first biggest loser. . problem with your weight.? lets go with the ‘Lose Big’ program!

The Hope (Original Rhyme)

Its funny how we met, but its you that i found,
never thought in those eyes, I could simply drown
I felt like flying, my legs off the ground,
every time you speak, as sweet as it sound

words cant express what you mean to me,
feelings in my heart, cant simply let it be,
I simply thank god, on two bended knees,
cause to me your an angel, thats how I see,

thanks for tolerating, all that I'm not,
your kindness seem endless, without a shadow of doubt,
every single things you do, to me its hot,
your my one and only, you all that I got..

Pisces Party

Recently there’s 3 people in my life celebrating their birthday back to back to back.

On the 4^th it was sid’s birthday. He is my cousin which stay in Tambun Perak. Studying to be a lawyer. One word that I could say bout him, is simply ‘ludacris’. We grew up together as he is the only cousin that is within the same age range. All those time would be a memorable outing. Like the time we went and watch Manchester United vs Selangor at 1995, or those F1 race at Sepang. Still remember we had this hillstand tickets back in 2001. He was wearing shorts and a lizard as the size of my palm came crawling into his pants. Menggeletek kowt.. That’s was a laugh.

5^th was ili’s bday. This promising athlete and her dynamic duo Emi would always be leading the crowd to the next outing. Really good at bowling and I don't think shes should stop bowling by the way. Studies comes first as it should be. Studying to be a doctor following her parents footstep. Tough outlook but inside quite soft.

Meanwhile, on the 6^th was my crew member. Yasser aka mamak’s birthday. Knew him for quite a while ever since the bowling days. This ‘Canon’ will always be bringin the fun in the crowd. A natural born joker and a full time comic. I will consider him truly blessed at a favorite ‘topic’. An easy go lucky person with and a loveable character. His tag line would be “hello,hello….who is this?!” . Would never fail to make us laugh.

To all 3 of you, I would like to say a very happy birthday. Hope you’ll find what you’re searching in life. Please do be happy, INSIDE and out. Don’t be a stranger.

Kaler Pensil

Recently I was mumbling bout a certain someone and their annoying attitude at the pantry. Suddenly one of the cleaners called udin (not the rawker) come to me and said:

“Manusia itu macam kaler pensil. Ada pelbagai. Jika semuanya putih seperti abg, bosan lah hidup ini”

Then I stop and think for an extremely long time. Am I that bosan..? And why im associated with white..? (like last nyte bday party, a kid ask my friend ‘abg tuh cina ke india’) hahahhaaaa…. but then again, what he said was right. If every one of us is just like you, there won’t be conflict, no acceptance, no war, no love, no more tears. We will be like clones….! We won’t know what’s right or wrong.

So as I grew a little older, I tend to accept people as who they are. Friends especially. We have our share of agrees and disagree. For sure we argue but still we search them back to hangout and stuff. We are simply human that’s full with flaws...

Your Obsession

Almost everyone has something that they obsess about. Some more than others. Either its shoes, hi tech gadgets, belts, sport cars, 6 pack abs, you name it. Some collect them, while others just dream bout it. Aina told me whats mine. I never really thought bout it, but shes right. It's t-shirt. Woaw... never realized it at all. I felt thats t-shirt are meant to be daring and eye catching. I don't care bout brand so much, just design. Recently I got this cool t-shirt from “abstract jingga”. so have you found your obsession...?

This is it...!

my gateway of self expression.
something could relate to.

Ocean Spanning Sorrow by Reza Salleh

Wide awake I cannot sleep again, and I am
Playing your cries in my head, and I am
Wrestling with myself again, and I am,
And I am,

Dazed and weak I feel like,
I've been stomped and squeezed tight,
I'm dripping blood onto the floor, and I am,
Giving into the pain of lost and complex fate,
I need to pass this out,
Once again.

My ocean spanning, drain me out,
My sorrow's blooming and I can get out,
My ocean spanning sorrow,
My ocean spanning,

Take awhile to relax and recline,
Push aside and be free,
And be free x3

My ocean spanning, drain me out,
My sorrow's blooming and I can't get out,
My ocean spanning sorrow,
My ocean spanning x4

by Reza Salleh.
consider one of my fav track on his album

thick skull.....

I just hate to see those people who couldn't care less about others. All they want to do is just take, take, and maybe TAKE some more. Its sickening. Why must we use they word 'I' so much. It's not always about you...! think about the people around you for once. They are human being too. I don't mind helping you up, but please be considerate. And yet your complaining bout work and pay? But never to compromise with your hobby and life schedule.
Whats up with that? SELLFISH....!

We only do, how we want others to treat us.