Lights by ELLIE GOULDING

I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone

Home

Noises, I play within my head
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing
And I think back to when my brother and my sister slept
In an unlocked place the only time I feel safe

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone

Home

Yeah, hee

Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Distance tear (Original Rhyme)

was wondering why did you tear, out of a sudden,
as you were so much out there away in a distant,
i hope my existence is not much of a burden,
that what make me freak, shocked and a little redundant,

maybe its my fault, to show how much i care,
as my perception is different, but i dont think its fair,
so decided to back out, create havoc i dont dare,
sorry if i cause u trouble,and a couple of split hair...

Death Wish (Original Rhyme)

you living large, bigger than the moon,
spending what you lack, hoping to recover soon,
till when would you learn, searching for the right tune?
cant you be aware and avoid others to be wound...

you said you felt lost, but what are you searching?
instead you went running, out thru that table door,
kept asking & demanding, all you want is more,
when things didn't go your way, you'll just start a war...

your life is uncertain, as if you own a death wish,
get away with things, like a slick little fish,
hate to be tied down, or govern by a leash,
hoping 1 day you learned, by the experience that been teach...

Rawr-yaaa...!

it was a hectic raya recently. for once Wes force me to go back hometown tho i have like 8300 things to do. took my AL earlier as most of my staff was on leave the week after raya. fair enough. they have been working hard. so i drove back to Epoh , Silver State on Wednesday night 12 midnight. going back that time around was cooling and also cuz its ramadhan, so traveling night time we could always stop fro break and sahur and such. plus theres a discount on toll if you did during that time of traveling to distribute the traffic.

as most of my cousin and siblings arent around yet, i got tons of things done and dusted. start off with unhooking the curtains (late grandmum always wait for me to come back as she could use my height. miss her), unrolling the carpets, raya lighting decorations (where i almost got electrocuted by cutting a live plugged wire cable, SMART..!). then also with the food preparations. as only my mum and me were around, i was busy handeling the ketupat wrapping. all 112 of them (yes i counted)

in between those time, i still manage to get some workout done actually. went to the famous Taman D.R. and hooked my TRX and twist smart toner and did a circuit HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) in the afternoon just before iftar. and instead of jogging back to by car, ive slow down a pace and lunge my way back. me leg were screaming lassies.... arghhhh.........!

did went to chill out and did some writing. something inspiring struck my mind. cant simply let it be right? its hard to get good healthy food around so i ended up going out and find me something to eat. imagine the whole of raya no vege dish at all. cant have that... so start taking lot and lot and lot of liquid lassies and yogurt... but i did lay losse here and there.

i seldom come back to my hometown now days as shes no longer here with us. but to visit her grave every raya is a real treat. owh how i miss her very much. to my dearest Grandma (Bibi Salmah), thanks for all the memories and also for you wittiness. still can remember you simple giggle and such. Al Fatihah.

but it was nice to go back this time around, no "cold wars", no quarrel, just raya... tho did went back earlier (2nd day raya) but did my part and was there when it matters most. did manage to Skype with Ashyu (Aunty) in Helsinki. she was there together with Kak Zani (cousin). so they were kinda sad as didnt got the chance to come back and celebrate with us. yeah, we can feel that as well.

Raya in epoh was awsome, good food, great people, screaming cold weather (i was literally on socks and snow cap okkk...!) and tons of childhood memories... tho i was raise up here, but its nice to be back.

that night, Tok Wan bought us dinner. There's this Thai dinner place call Kosamui. (yeah just like the place in Thailand). thats how bigg 3/4 of the family that was with us. and my bro was the one taking the picture. we missing around 8 more trooper.

selamat hari raya peeps... maaf zahir batin if any of my wrong doing or my words in this blog and such did disturb you in one way or another. im just human with feeling, and i dont mind saying it out. take care and go easy with the Lemang and rendang ok....!