One Way Street (Original Rhyme)

Do I exist to you, as I’m the last to be called?
Would you bother bout me, what if I fall?
Life be stressing now, drove me through the wall,
I still have feelings, not as perfect as a doll…

As usual I’m overshadowed, by the ghost of the past,
No matter what I accomplished, just as same as the dust,
What ever they do, what ever their fuss,
Is all that you think of, as if it’s a must…

So don’t ask me, if you don’t really mean it,
No matter how trouble, I have to face the heat
To be kick at the curve, or to be taking the beat,
Throughout that journey, on this one way street.

trembeling down (Original Rhyme)

How could I slip? Everything was doing fine,
Its not that I cheat, towards you that’s so divine,
I wish I could stop, and simply hit rewind,
I think it’s my ignorance, as your beauty made me blind…

As I cry myself to sleep, knowing I did you wrong,
While I toss and turn, the night felt so long,
Hope that you recover fast, deep down in your soul,
Sorry bout the words, that I use truly bold..


18th oct 2009

something we cant have

Isn’t that ironic..? We human always crave or demand things that we can’t have. And yet we still be dreaming bout it and sometimes, wait for a life time. Why can’t we just accept the fact is that what we want, is never always what we need? Of cause we demand for perfection, but we are just human. Born and raised with imperfection and flaws. That what makes us different and special.

Yet we wonder why we still want those things that we can’t have. Either someone, something or even somewhere we dreamt to be. But we work hard to make the best out of every situation. Moving on with life, accept inadequate of a person or even simply being patients and taking it slow.


Line’s from 1 of my favorite movie (Enemy at the gates)

“Caviar is a luxury that we have,
Vodka is a luxury that we have,
Time is a luxury that we don’t have.”




For mother Russia…!

*just enjoy the patriotism that is shown by them

1 Malaysia (is that all?)

Something has been bugging recently. Might sound simple or not such a big deal after all. But I just need to let it off my chest. It the ‘1 Malaysia’ concept. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good that we are trying our very best to unite the people of Malaysia. But till what depth of understanding do we reckoned?

It really piss me off to hear most advertisement saying that ‘1 Malaysia’ is all about the multiple food from all races that we share and love to indulge. It that all we think about..? food.? Sorry to say, that is very shallow. Mamak food is not the definition of 1 Malaysia. No wonder we have one of the highest ratio of obesity in South East Asia. We are having 9 contestant for the upcoming biggest loser Asia. Where to be qualified in the race, you need to be at least 100kg and above. The most number contestant in the whole region. Bummer..

What about the acceptance and respect of other races between one another? Like when other race are on holidays such as Deepavali, the Chinese and Malay took turn to cover their work load and such. Or the similarity of language, where you could see several Chinese or Indian from up north talking with a thick ‘utara’ accent / dialect. How about the issue of racisms? Where in this country we don’t have much racial conflict or constant war. How our forefathers unite between one another just to get a glimpse of independent even though it cause them their lives.

How about Eurasian around us which uses Bahasa Melayu as their language to comunicate? Some even have a better vocabulary in the Malay language compare to most of the Malays in town. And mannerism (budi bahasa) among all Malaysian. No where else can you get people who are well mannered, soft spoken and polite regardless of skin tone or even race. Of cause you might get some bad apples here and there. But if you round them up, we are not bad at all. As a matter of fact, we’re the best. Think positive people…!

I’m a very patriotic person. Ill be the one who would stand up in the middle of the night just because the TV was playing our national anthem. Laugh all you want. But if you as a Malaysia born citizen, that wouldn’t respect your own national anthem. Who would..? The immigrants? Better think twice. So as much as you want to say about it, at least do something to prove your self worthy to be a Malaysian.


So tell me again about 1 Malaysia.

Raya Missingness

Tons of things that has change from the last time I went back for hari raya. Ain’t the same, but these are the things that I would miss the most.

· Mami Nor and the girls’s (cousins) kuih sarang semut
· The spicy and unbeatable rendang tok (by mak cak n myself)
· Those mini movie we once acted in, directed by the multi talented joe
· BBQ night. And lighting up the BBQ pit with fireworks..? bhahhahahhaaa…..
· Duit Raya…!
· My late beloved tok
· Taking down the curtains when ask by my tok. She will be waiting for me to come back as I don’t need chair to take it down. (so kire menyalahgunakkan ketinggian saya larr? I dunt mind)
· Raya gathering and sleep over in Manjoi

Supposedly everyone has grown up away from those old traditions and to better things. But I do see those who don’t want to change or grew up. Me, I evolve to better and bigger things. No longer being push around. So I make my own moves and decision. Don’t mean to be rude, but I’m human too ok..?

It’s true what they say. You don’t know what you got till it’s gone. That’s why I didn’t go back last year. It doesn’t feel the same no more. But at least we make the best out of the recent one. Felt at ease towards myself. And that’s a pleasant feeling I’ve been searching for.

owh i also miss out all my adek2, having pot luck ramadhan and raya with the whole selangorianz (bowling trainees). i demand summit USJ be the place. we all serbu. deal..?

Beautiful Loss (Original Rhyme)

I miss your smile, everytime I'm around,
I miss your giggle, which took away my frown
I wish you come back, so everything is in place,
But now that you’re gone, something I have to face…

I do miss you dearly, never again feel the same,
I don’t miss going back, on work I put the blame,
I wish it felt warm, everytime I came,
But now that you’re gone, different face different name...

I miss those days, you waited for me,
I miss your love, the one you gave endlessly
I wish you’re around, I’ll do anything you ask,
But now your finally gone, and all I see is dust..


ps:
as i wrote this, i was in tears (still am now)
dedicated this one to my late grandmum.
may she rest in peace.
-al fatihah-

3am by Matchbox 20

she says it's cold outside and she hands me my raincoat
she's always woried about things like that
she says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault
and she only sleeps when its raining
and she screams and her voice is straining

(chorus)
and she says baby
it's 3am I must be lonely
when she says baby
well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
she says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it

she's got a little bit of something, God it's better than nothing
and in her color protrait world she believes that she's got it all
she swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to
and she only sleeps when its raining
and she screams, and her voice is straining

(chorus)

she believes that life is made up of all that you're used to
and the clock on the wall has been stuck at 3 for days,
and days she thinks that happiness is the mat that sits on her doorway
but outside its stopped raining

(chorus)


ps:
what much can i say about it.
this beautiful peice is written by rob thomas to his mom.
dedicated to my mum.